PC Problem

Customer : I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't
work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer Yeah....
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer : Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and
all I get is weird noises. Listen.....
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!
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Tech support : What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer : A white one...
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Customer : Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support : Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer : Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support : That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer : No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on
my desk... sorry....
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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Male customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
Gates, damn it!
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try,
it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in
front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
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Customer : I have problems printing in red...
Tech support : Do you have a color printer?
Customer : Aaaah....................thank you.
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Tech support : What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer : A teddy bear my boyfriend bought fo r me in the supermarket.
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Customer : My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer : No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer : OK
Tech support: : Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer : Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
keyboard?
Customer : Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work
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Tech support : Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter
V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer : Is that 7 in capital letters?
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Customer : I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support : Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer : Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support : Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer : Five stars.
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Tech support : What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer : Netscape.
Tech support : That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer : Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
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Customer : I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my
computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support : How may I help you?
Customer : I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support : OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer : Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the
circle around it?

A woman customer called the IBM help desk with a problem with her IBM Infoprint printer.

Tech support : Are you running it under windows?
Customer : "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The
man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and
his printer is working fine."
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Tech support : "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the
same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the
screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program
Manager."
Customer : I don't have a P.
Tech support : On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer : What do you mean?
Tech support : "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer : I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!